Temp work and Education, part 1
November 3, 2009
Fear of the unknown
I have been escaping the last four years or so. I started the teacher’s education many years ago. In the beginning of my studies, I was very enthusiastic, even though the job as a teacher seemed tough. Stupid as I was, I believed that with the right methods and a great deal of democracy in school we would be able to create something entirely different. I think I believed that I could live my dreams working as a teacher. In a way it was a very good feeling. But I was well aware that I had lots of time left before I had to finish my studies so I kept living in a dreamworld, carefully avoiding any confrontation with reality.
I went to Spain to do an internship for a term. After that I took a sabbatical year off because I felt the need to travel. I traveled to Central America and the United States looking for something else, something different. Many things happened during those travels and school and teaching felt very distant.
When I came back to the teacher´s education I was depressed and my illusions were gone. I hated what I was getting in to and I disliked myself. I think it had to do with a negative vision of the world, in which I felt that I had no position . At leas I did not know what my position was supposed to be. It became a downward spiral when I had to force myself into a situation I was not comfortable with.
It think it is impossible to work with humans without becoming a demon or zombie, if you hate what you’re doing. I hate institutions such as school for what it does when it sorts out and disciplines pupils.(1). I also reject what the social relations at workplaces does with human beings (2). But I need to like what I´m doing at least a bit. And even more important, I know I need to like myself.
Anyway, as I said I have been escaping, hiding in the university. But this term I had some extra time so I figured I had to start challenging myself. I had to stop running away and face my fears.
It proved to be difficult. I found excuses all the time for not looking for teacher work. Suddenly, I found myself involved in all kinds of activities that did not have to do with teaching.
End of part one
- For more information on critical perspectives on schools check out Http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hidden_curriculum “In this context, hidden curriculum is said to reinforce existing social inequalities by educating students in various matters and behaviors according to their class and social status “
- For a thoroughly description of the relations at workplaces check out www.prole.info
